[There was a video here]

"And now, for 'My Take™.' So: Should we trust the government to keep us all safe from Ebola?" With these words, Fox News head-on-a-stick Gretchen Carlson offered 56 seconds' worth of historic, Brobdingnagian "Take™," replete with Obamacare IRS Secret Service Benghazi, does she have to spell it out for you.

Perhaps afraid that Elisabeth Hasselbeck was bogarting her Monday-afternoon monopoly on crazy, Carlson explained as simply as possible yesterday why she and her viewers could be forgiven for thinking Ebola might kill them dead. In so doing, she managed to score bingo in 47,865 distinct ways on everyone's Obama universal conspiracy theory card.

Via TPM, here is a verbatim transcript of said "take." But really, treat yourself to 93.3/100ths of one minute of veritable live-action uhhhhhhm by watching the video above, as well:

With the government's recent track record not being so hot, well, we learned we couldn't trust the IRS after the targeting of conservative groups, the Secret Service after an armed man made his way into the white house, the VA after reports men and women who served this country died waiting to get health care. We couldn't trust the promise that Obamacare that we could keep our doctors that we wanted. And do we trust that we know all the answers yet about Benghazi? What more and more people seem to be asking about Ebola now isn't that they are necessarily scared about actually getting the disease, but that they're scared the government agencies responsible with helping us if we do get sick might not be up to the task. So if Ebola becomes a bigger issue, the question still remains: will we be safe?

Here it is in a word cloud.

Here is my dog's reaction.