Dumb Marco Rubio Has a Dumb Plan to Expand Gitmo, Torture More Folks

Adam Weinstein · 04/15/15 12:58PM

Desperate to stand apart from the pack and court soccer moms with a thirst for waterboarding, future presidential also-ran Marco Rubio staked out a remarkable policy position on day one of his campaign: He'd grow the detainee population at Guantánamo and "aggressively" pump prisoners for intelligence.

Putin Is Down to Fuck

Adam Weinstein · 11/11/14 11:27AM

Vladimir Putin is single again, and he was at this summit yesterday sitting next to the Chinese premier's wife. The bureaucrat behind that seating arrangement is probably already in a concrete cell eating a Makarov sandwich, seeing how Putin tried to convince the first lady that Russian bears need cuddling, too.

Montanans Not Sure About This Plan for a Racially Diverse KKK Chapter

Adam Weinstein · 11/06/14 12:30PM

If congressional Republicans can win over the same electorate that voted for Barack Obama twice, then maybe one of Montana's most notorious white supremacists can drum up interest in his plan for a kindler, gentler Ku Klux Klan that welcomes minorities, Jews, and gays.

The Navy's Top Intel Official Is Banned From Seeing Classified Intel

Adam Weinstein · 11/03/14 02:07PM

The U.S. Navy has a three-star admiral in charge of all its intelligence-gathering and analysis efforts. But for a year, he has been barred by officials from viewing any secret intelligence, essentially making his job moot and leaving the service dead in the water when it comes to gathering critical information.

GOP Rallies Florida Voters by Calling Campus Rape Culture a "Lie"

Adam Weinstein · 10/30/14 10:30AM

Florida Republicans organized a get-out-the-vote rally in Sarasota Tuesday night to help tip a tight governor's race in conservative Rick Scott's favor. First, the 700 ralliers heard from Bobby Jindal. Then, they applauded a right-wing radio host who called rape culture "nonsense" from "the feminist left."

Packers Fan Tries Repeatedly to Shoot Dog, Hits Jeep and House Instead

Adam Weinstein · 10/28/14 02:38PM

A Green Bay man with an AR-15 was arraigned on a felony charge in his Packers jersey after he tried to "defend his property" from a dog, missing it with eight close-range shots from the highly accurate rifle in broad daylight and instead peppering his neighbors' property with hot rounds.

Christie Hopes Healthy Nurse He Quarantined Finds "Time to Reflect"

Adam Weinstein · 10/27/14 03:50PM

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, whose health officials held an Ebola-free nurse from Maine in quarantine against her will after she arrived from Africa on Friday, told media at a campaign stop in Florida that "when she has time to reflect, she'll understand" why she was deprived of her freedom in the Garden State.

Vets' PTSD Counseling Was Canceled for "Mental Illness Awareness Week"

Adam Weinstein · 10/27/14 01:15PM

A former Gitmo military policewoman who headed into her local VA clinic earlier this month for a regular appointment to cope with her PTSD learned that her and other vets' sessions been canceled, because the staff was attending an inspirational speech for Mental Illness Awareness Week.

Florida Vows Not to Let Gays Make a Mockery of Divorce, Either

Adam Weinstein · 10/23/14 01:09PM

Not content simply to ban gay marriage, conservative Florida Attorney General and champion long-starer Pam Bondi filed a brief this week begging a judge not to grant a divorce to a lesbian whose civil-union partner left her alone years ago.

South Carolina Republican Calls Gay Couples "Gremlins"

Adam Weinstein · 10/20/14 01:12PM

Anthony Culler is the Republican candidate for United States Congress in South Carolina's 6th District. He probably wasn't in any danger of beating longtime incumbent James Clyburn in this heavily Democratic district. But he sure does want everybody to know how much he hates the gays.

Maybe We're Just Not Bombing ISIS Indiscriminately Enough

Adam Weinstein · 10/15/14 10:22AM

It's been more than two months since America started dropping laser-guided freedom all over the Islamic State. But for some reason, the flowers of liberty aren't blooming in all those new holes we've dug in Iraq and Syria. Perhaps it's because we should bomb more shit, say two experts in talking about bombing shit.

GOP Gives Out Phone Number of Rival Candidate's Ailing 91-Year-Old Mom

Adam Weinstein · 10/02/14 02:50PM

John Fisher is running for the Michigan House* as a Democrat. In a recent mailer, the Michigan Republican Party told voters to call a number for Fisher and express their displeasure over his support for Obamacare. The number went to Fisher's elderly mother's hospice, where she's undergoing heart treatment.