In this politically charged atmosphere, we rarely hear of U.S. border-patrol success stories. So let us commend the intrepid customs agents who bravely saved a bevy of junior Goldman VPs from huffing a pound of artisanal taint-roasted blow after it nestled near this nervous flier’s anus.
On April 16, Mr. Romario Lewis, a Jamaican citizen, arrived at John F. Kennedy International Airport from Kingston, Jamaica and presented himself for inspection. During the examination of Mr. Lewis’s suitcase, he exhibited numerous signs of nervousness.
CBP officers conducted a physical search of Mr. Lewis. During this search, officers discovered two packages in the subject’s groin area. The two packages contained a white powdery substance that tested positive for cocaine. An approximate weight of 1 lb. of cocaine was seized, with an estimated street value of more than $19,000 according to DEA statistics.
CBP officers hastened to add that all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. But Lewis faces a worse consequence than criminal charges: His (alleged) special two-boxer recipe for toasting in the flavor is a secret no more.
[Photo credit: CBP]