In the Pythagorean formula of Ebola alarmism, WorldNetDaily columnist and one-time Dallas actress Morgan Brittany has established herself as the square of the hypotenuse. Witness her latest insane scrawling, titled: "What If the Conspiracy Theories Are True?"

Brittany, seen above in her recent appearance on Celebrity Ghost Stories, had some stiff competition in the Ebola-blather competition this week from Fox News germ-splainer Elisabeth Hasselbeck and political scat singer Gretchen Carlson. But only Brittany can bring you the unvarnished truth about Ebola, "60,000 illegal children," government ammo stockpiles, "and the $1 billion worth of disposable FEMA coffins supposedly stored in Georgia."

Our fair scene begins with Brittany at an L.A. dinner party. Not with conservative rednecks, either, mind you, because this is L.A.! Rather, her company was "upper middle class—baby boomers and 'yuppies' who would never want to be thought of as conservative, but as more libertarian in their political views." So, you know. Typical Angelenos.

Naturally, the men's conversation turned to how the gub'mint seemed determined to kill them:

The men were bringing up the fact that in the past few years, everything that has come out of Washington has been misleading or an out and out lie – from Obamacare, "if you like your doctor," to the Department of Veterans Affairs allowing vets to die waiting for an appointment. They said that they were viewing the reassurances about Ebola coming from the CDC with a skeptical eye. Their biggest question was: Why is there no urgency to stop the disease from entering the U.S.?

After a few more rounds of discussion about "the incompetence permeating our government," Brittany and her cohort conclude it's just too much incompetence... so maybe it's not incompetence at all:

One of the men brought up the fact that Washington has known for months if not years that we were at risk for some sort of global pandemic. According to a government supplier of emergency products, the Disaster Assistance Response Team was told to be prepared to be activated in the month of October for an outbreak of Ebola.

Because if there's a reliable source for news of disease outbreaks, it's going to be "a government supplier of emergency products."

Hmm, that's just like the fact that they knew 60,000 illegal children were going to be coming across our southern border eight months before it happened.


Questions were then brought up about the stockpiling of ammunition and weapons by Homeland Security over the past couple of years and the $1 billion worth of disposable FEMA coffins supposedly stored in Georgia.

Neither of these things is true. The Homeland Security ammo theory is a trumped-up perennial that blooms in batshit, and the "FEMA coffins" were concocted out of thin air in 2007—before Barack Hussein Obummer, even.

Why was there preparation being made for FEMA camps to house people in isolation? These were the questions being seriously discussed.

Ah yes, FEMA concentration camps. Why are FEMA concentration camps not "being seriously discussed" by more people?

Many lessons could be drawn here. One valuable lesson for Brittany might be that her upper middle-class friends are certifiably insane. But apparently other conclusions are possible:

My fear is that this has all been orchestrated from the very beginning. Who knows? Maybe the current administration needs this to happen so martial law can be declared, guns can be seized and the populace can be controlled. Once that happens… game over.

This is serious. We need to get serious, people. We need to ask serious questions. Also, before the martial law comes, seriously make sure to order your copy of Brittany's new book, What Women Really Want (AS SEEN ON FOX & FRIENDS).

[h/t MMFA]