Perhaps Ben Smith has finally found a suitable replacement for serial plagiarist and right-wing fanboy Benny Johnson in that shiny reductio ad absurdum of conservative id, outgoing Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota.
— Michele Bachmann (@MicheleBachmann) December 1, 2014
In her latest community contributors post—not "vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff," a disclaimer screams—the gay-hatin' Christ warrior Bachmann includes photos of herself smoking a stogie; ignoring Nancy Pelosi; teaching Capitol visitors about Murka and Gawd; and posing with various minorities, little people, and Jon Voight.
So good! So Buzzfeedy. Hopefully the online media juggernaut will recognize Bachmann's talent for what it is and elevate her to full-time, vetted staff. But in case the h8ers manage to sow some doubts among Buzzfeed's deciders, here are nine reasons she'd fit right in:
1. She totally flips the script.
2. She agrees: Aw, kids are sooo cute.
You can tell she really does it all for the children when she explains how gays want a society in which "adults will be able to freely prey on little children sexually. That's the deviance that we're seeing embraced in our culture today."
3. Obsessed with time-wasting games? She's been there.
4. She has her finger on the pulse of early 2013's hottest public television trend.
5. She has great online journalistic instincts.
6. She doesn't just know pop culture, pop culture knows her.
7. She can like do gifs and stuff.
And gifs are really valuable to a company like Buzzfeed. They're, like, bitcoin for the internet.
8. Corndogs, wow!
9. She's gonna just be real, no matter what other people say!
Bachmann's only other Buzzfeed contributor column, from last year, was on the "top 10 reasons to consider adoption." LGBT friends, you might prefer to read Chris Geidner's Buzzfeed report published the same week, titled "Rep. Michele Bachmann Refuses To Include LGBT Families In Adoption Resolution."